THE DMV!

It is official: I am now a resident of Colorado. Last week I spent 800 hours at the local DMV paying taxes, registering my car (and attempting to register Matt's), pulling my hair out, and taking unflattering pictures for my driver's license. Nothing like the DMV to inspire repentance and get your stuff right with God to avoid hell!

It all began on a beautiful morning - the first morning I had without any children. I imagined myself running errands, getting myself a Jamba Juice and listening to loud music. Instead I got to take both our cars to the local emissions testing center (Denver loves clean air?!?!). Upon arrival I was feeling quite lucky - no long lines as far as I could see...until I pulled to the back of the building. My thirty minute wait (in the car - idling - as the informational poster on clean air later told me not to) was spent in conversation with Mom so the morning wasn't a complete bust. Once I turned my car over to the tester I was directed to the "waiting" room. A long narrow room - more like a dingy hallway than a room, with nothing to read but the sports page and nothing to watch but moving cars, grumpy emissions testers in safety glasses and Judge Hatchett. I truly expected someone to approach me at any moment and offer to sell me crack it was that seedy. When the tester yelled my name I foolishly thought my nightmare was over...but alas my gas cap failed the test! Damn that gas cap! I was given my walking papers, told to get a new gas cap and come back for a retest. Looking back I believe it was the only test I have ever failed! In an effort to close the deal I rushed to the closest auto parts store and replaced the old and funky cap with a new one and went back for the retest. Here is where it gets good: do they just save everyone a lot of hassle, time and money and just retest the cap? NO...that would be way too smart and efficient. Instead I have to get back into the same line and they put my car through the same battery of tests that it just past 15 minutes ago!!! No wonder we don't have peace in the Middle East - we spend our time testing and retesting gas caps for crying out loud. The beauty is that equipped with my sparkling new gas cap the Saab passed the test (giving everyone involved a confidence boost) and I got to start the whole process over with the minivan!


The rest of the story goes a little smoother - the minivan passed with flying colors, the actual registration and titling of the car didn't take as long and I passed the vision test for my driver's license (whew!). I did have to get fingerprinted and the photo on my new license actually looks a lot like a mug shot, so my self-confidence is back on the low side, but I am officially a resident of Colorado and isn't that what it is all about anyway?